It occurred to me tonight that it’s a bit crazy that I’ve thoroughly researched healthy dog food and treat options for our new puppy, Lily, and I have purchased only natural preservative-free products for her…yet at the same time I let my children eat:
corn dogs
processed chicken nuggets
processed waffles
things like syrup
soda with high fructose corn syrup
not nearly enough fruits and veggies (I provide plenty but they largely won’t eat much of it)
sweets, way too often
For Lily I settled on Blue Buffalo dog food, which runs about $20 for a 6-pound bag, and lasts her roughly a month. $20/mo isn’t really a lot of money but it’s a lot more than a lot of people spend on dog food. The treats I buy are all-natural and run $5-$15 a package–and I didn’t hesitate to buy any of them. Yet I hesitate at buying a side of grass-fed beef, or organic veggies for my family. I’m not saying we eat junk–I try not to buy items with preservatives and HFCS and I try to buy minimal processed foods. Still, we could be eating so much better.
It’s not that I care more about the dog than my family–that couldn’t be farther from the truth. One thing is that Lily has to eat what I feed her. She doesn’t know that Kibbles-n-Bits is probably tastier than Blue Buffalo. And even if she knew, she couldn’t badger me into buying Kibbles-n-Bits. She isn’t willing to “hold out” for her chosen foods like Dakota will. She’s driven largely by instinct and need whereas my children seem to be driven by what they know they like and want.
I don’t often have the emotional fortitude to stand up for what *I* think is right. (And they’ve known this for quite a while!) It’s easy to convince myself nightly that a corn dog or a couple dinosaur nuggets plus a broccoli floret or two is “better than nothing.” Wearing me down seems to have become a game for the kids; at least for the three youngest.
I’ve been suffering from daily anxiety (anywhere from mild to severe depending on the day) for over two years now. I was dx’d with PTSD in early-2011–seems 2004-2008 were REALLY bad years. My second bout with PTSD, by the way; the first occurred in the mid-90’s after a bad work situation. Since my mom passed away so dramatically in March, I’ve had what I’d describe as a low-grade depression. Anxiety was better for a while, but then the shock and numbness wore off. Thankfully the universe somehow sent me a wonderful new friend this past May. Without her, I’m sure I’d be having a lot more bad days. Having a new puppy is calming and a great distraction at the same time. It helps.
But, my seeming inability to cope with Katie’s stroke and illness, personal/marital/financial issues, and my mom’s tragic death may not just be a mental thing for me. This month I was diagnosed with the following (and all of them cause depression/anxiety):
hypothyroidism
high blood pressure
type 2 diabetes (went to full-blown from pre-)
severe B12 deficiency
severe folate deficiency
severe vitamin D deficiency
mildly impaired kidney function (this is bad…very bad)
My A1C went from 6.9 (decent) fourteen months ago to 10.1. At this rate, I could be on dialysis by the time I’m 45 if I don’t die from a stroke or heart attack in the meantime. I’m a ticking time bomb. I’m also 37 (OK, 38 in a few days) and I have four kids aged 5 through 16. I can’t be dying anytime soon!!
I’ve spent the past few days digesting (ha, no pun intended) all this bad news and trying to figure out how I’ll space out all my new meds and supplements (and even remember them for that matter). A Facebook friend mentioned Primal or Paleo eating to me after I posted my initial lab results on FB. I’d looked at Mark’s Daily Apple before that and had though…yeah, uh huh, right… Umkay. No bread? No sugar? No grains of any kind? No legumes? No potatoes? No way!!
Of course my perspective has changed quite a bit over the past couple weeks. Looking at myself and my husband (similarly overweight + high cholesterol and VERY bad LDL/HDL ratio) and oldest son (quite overweight and can’t seem to lose) I can’t help but wonder, why is deriving pleasure from food more important to me than GETTING HEALTHY? Of course I think it comes from childhood (and that’s a long story for another day) but there’s no reason I shouldn’t be able to fix that now, as an adult.
I talked to T and we’ve decided that Paleo/Primal is worth the sacrifice. We haven’t quite agreed on how to implement it (but it’s ultimately up to me) but he’s on board, which is more than I expected. My biggest hope is that I can reign in my blood glucose. For now I’ll be on oral medication but maybe someday soon I won’t need it. Hopefully I can save my kids from what I’m experiencing.